I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She's the barista slut.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
