Have you finally orgasmed yet?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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