And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
