It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
