Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i out mim tonsoeep
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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