you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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