Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
