Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
