"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
