dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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