frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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