he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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