party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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