I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
