About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
