Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
