hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
