And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize