It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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