It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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