that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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