I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
