We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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