two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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