i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
