I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
