How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
