I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
