she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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