Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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