As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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