Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So many bounce houses so little time
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
