I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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