Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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