I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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