she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize