you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Randomize