Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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