Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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