i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
