yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
