easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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