I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize