So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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