Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
