I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
sex in a hospital.. check
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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