..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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