The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
