Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
