guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
