We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
