Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
