P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
