I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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