we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize