Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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