Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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